Act 7, Scene 1: Munch’s Apartment, aka: the fence

Munch’s apartment is a mixture of good furniture and stacked boxes; most have labels indicating high value merchandise.  Munch may be male or female, older (middle-aged), business type but slightly seedy although well enough dressed.

As lights come up, Munch is seated at a table with a laptop computer and a calculator.  He/she is using one hand to punch numbers on the calculator and appears displeased with the results. The other hand is holding a phone to his/her ear.

Stage right, the burglar is seated in the back seat of an automobile (or automobile seat) with three packages visible in the passenger’s seat.  One is a briefcase, the second a “day-tripper” bag and the third is a longer tube, long enough to contain the katana sword.  He/she is holding a cellphone to his/her ear.

Burglar: “Forget it! I’ve told you before, I don’t do jobs to order.” (covers mouthpiece with hand, addresses audience)  “I don’t do jobs at all now.  I’m retired. But there’s no profit in telling him(/her) that.” (uncovers mouthpiece) “Aside from which, I believe you still owe me for some gem stones.  I don’t like waiting.”

Munch:  “I told you; you’ll have the money in a few days.”

Burglar:  “All of it by the end of the week, okay?”

Munch: (punching numbers again) “Thirty, okay?”

Burglar:  (grimaces) “Forty-five and quit trying to screw me.”

Munch: (angrily) “I’m not …”

Burglar: (interrupting) “Just pony up the forty-five and quit arguing.” (covering the mouthpiece, addressing the audience) “If he doesn’t, he’ll regret it – about two kilos of coke worth.  He’ll never find it but, with a tip, the police will.” (uncovering the mouthpiece) “I’ll talk to you when the money’s in my account.  Until later …” (breaks the connection)

(pause)

Voice from offstage (as if taxi driver):  “You said Northwest right, buddy?”

Burglar: “Northwest Air, right!  First stop Tokyo Narita, change to Bangkok , then Chiang Mai.”

Voice:  “You traveling on business?”

Burglar:  “More like pleasure, I’ve just retired.” (smiles, looks at audience) “Definitely retired.  A little business, of course, since Mister Nakamoto will meet me at the airport – the Executive Lounge – to take possession of a valuable artifact.” (grins broadly) “Looks a safe guess that he also has the headlines written: ‘Japanese Businessman Recovers National Treasure.’  No, make that ‘Prominent Japanese Businessman…  He certainly will be if he’s not already.” (pause) “Hell, I can retire on what he’s paying alone – if it weren’t for the principal of the thing, Munch’s forty-five would be petty cash.” (clasps hands behind head, still smiling) “You know, I think I owe the newlyweds something.  Something nice.  Think they’d like a valuable copy of the Kama Sutra? … Delivered anonymously, of course. … But maybe with a note: ‘Sorry about the picnic’?”

(fade to black both sets, curtains remain open, cast gathers for curtain call)


Introduction

Act 6: Apartment of Larry Sarton